Blogging, have you heard of it?

I saw the movie "Julie & Julia" tonight with Tzip. It was good, i enjoyed it. I LOVED Meryl Streep in it. Not only is she entertaining but she makes me feel great knowing a woman can be THAT amazingly talented and gifted in the craft of her choice. And i saw a trailer for a new Nancy Meyers film starring Meryl and Alec Baldwin! Hello! I already know i'm going to watch that dvd obsessively like i do now with "Something's Gotta Give" and "The Mirror Has Two Faces."

I was almost moved to tears a few times during the film (which is funny because i'm such a leaky faucet during movies) but there was one moment when i had that ole familiar feeling of "oh shit i need to get out of here, i can't hold it together." There's a scene where Julie is celebrating her 30th birthday with her husband and friends and she says that she thought it would be bad but it isn't. So i automatically thought of my 30th birthday, how it was really fun to go to dinner with friends and colleagues from Coliseum at the time. I had a great time actually; dinner, ice cream, then the pool hall. I left kind of early i forget why. I was even a bit drunk. I think?
Anyway, all i could think of while i was sitting in the dark movie theater was that i didn't spend the night with my mom. And i can't remember her that day. And i can't imagine now choosing to spend time away from her. I feel like if i could go back in time today, knowing she was going to die on April 1st, 2009, i would try to spend every moment with her that i possibly could.

This year wasn't nearly as bad as i feared it might be on my birthday. I didn't miss her more than any other day. Then again, that's one of those days when i did a good job of pushing all sadness away. I just lock it inside a closet for a while until company is gone and i'm alone again.

I told my mom i loved her every day, multiple times a day during the last few months of her life. But i wish i could go back 2, 3, 10 years and tell her i love her, every day, multiple times a day. I wish i hadn't been so cold, and such a jerk and lazy bum.

I did laugh during the movie tonight when Julie is creating her blog with the help of her husband. I was thinking, i JUST did the same thing last night.

The lightning when we got out of the movie theater was gorgeous, very dramatic, even kind of cinematic. It rained very little but the thunder and lightning were spectacular.