Saturday was great. Just what i wanted and what i needed.
On Sunday i saw Andre DeShields in his wonderful show, "Mine Eyes Have Seen The Glory." It was inspiring, he is inspiring, and for 70 minutes i was alive with empathy, curiosity, longing, laughter and nostalgia.

I let Lucy and Ricky out of the cage tonight because i read that birds need to exercise their breast bones. Poor things. I always criticized my mom for wanting to keep pet birds, for imprisoning them and violating the laws of nature. But now they are my only company and they connect me to her.

I'm watching the first part of "Angels in America." It's completely mind-blowing.

Just in the kitchen, i was thinking about how so many times i really, really want to learn. I love to learn. I want to know more. But i think that more often i don't want to know more. And that will keep me from Buddha nature, from being enlightened.
I don't want to know because i'm afraid. Of everything.
I am the same person i was before my mother died. I saw something horrible happen, but i don't really see how it changed me. At least not for the better. I think wonderful things have happened to me since then, but i don't feel like i've moved more than maybe a centimeter in growth.
If i stay alive i hope i grow and learn. I don't want to be the same person i am today in ten years.